the great hook-up

December 5, 2011

by Elisa Krovblit

Old houses always pose interesting problems. After spending enough time problem-solving, I usually reach the conclusion that we need to move. I go to my husband and let him know I’ve figured out the answer.

My explanation is always met with a smile and a head shake. He never seems to think I’m serious.

My latest problem is the lack of a coat closet. It didn’t bother me until this year. We used a hook in the kitchen and hooks on the back of the baby’s bedroom door.

That was before.

Now, with a family of four to manage, it’s mayhem. I’m up to my eyeballs in outerwear. My husband has two parka-type coats. One for cold, which is quite large, and the one for really cold – which defies all reason (I’m just not sure how the man makes it through the doorways with that much puffy going on). I, myself, have a winter jacket, a wool coat, a light coat, a car coat and a sweater coat. Most remain in my closet and I end up not bringing them into the rotation because they’re not accessible on my way out the door. The kids have snow pants and jackets. And then there are hats, mitts, scarves, umbrellas and more.

I’m beginning to believe the Victorians were just an uncivilized bunch. What on earth did they do with all their outerwear?

I’ve also come to realize that the threshold for living without a coat closet is two adults and one infant. That second child of mine put us over the limit.

While wandering around the aisles of my favourite big box store, admiring how the Swedes have brought their design ethic to the masses in pops of bright colours and hard-to-pronounce names, my son became enthralled with little plastic dog behinds.

And there I found my answer. Not that I haven’t seen it done before, but I hadn’t really given it much thought. I’d been resisting the answer. But, without the ability to build myself a coat closet, and without the option of moving, I was going to have to design the wall of hooks. I bought four dog behinds to pacify my boy. They will more than do the trick for the boys and their hoods. But now the hunt really begins, to find hooks worthy of my walls, to find metals and materials, colours and contours that will work together without creating a horror-movies-style death trap should anyone ever fall against said wall.

I’ve been toying with an idea from one of Sara Duck’s TRENDSPOTTING features back from April of this year and I’m debating between a few styles.

I could buy a whole slew of different hooks. I could even spray paint them for monochromatic splendour and match the doggy behinds. Or I could buy a bagful of small chrome circles and drawing a long line with them down the hall, above eye level so as to avoid becoming the urban legend that actually happened.

Not sure if this idea will have me hooked up or if this house is making me come unhooked. Either way, the winter outerwear will be outa my way very soon.

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